David Edwards
NormThe Exclusive Sonny Bill Williams (SBW) Interview!
August 5th 2008 03:02
The Exclusive Interview.
I arrived in Paris, bleary-eyed, to conduct the first exclusive interview with fugitive league star Sonny Bill Williams. A nervous energy permeated my once-tired body - I was about to get the inside scoop on the SBW saga! After passing through customs and collecting my baggage, i was free to sample the Parisian delights; indeed, the city is a fabulous feast for the senses.
I had arranged to meet Mr Williams at Parisian restaraunt Taillevent, a grand 19th Century town-house, situated near the famous Champs Elysees. Slightly late, i checked my coat at the door and scanned the room for my interviewee. The subject was sitting in the far corner, languidly sipping upon a soft, subtle Merlot. As I gingerly approached my subject, he suddenly leapt to his feet and introduced himself. Obviously he needed no introduction, but I was quietly impressed at his assertiveness and etiquette.
As we sat down he offered me a glass of the expensive Merlot, which he explained was from the famous Bordeaux region. I was Impressed with his wine knowledge. He went on to tell me the history of the region and its most famous wines. He laughed when I told him of my special affinity with Botrytis desert wines - which he indeed was familiar with, referencing the delicious Sauternes he had enjoyed the previous evening.
Williams sipped gently from his glass with pursed lips, swishing the drop around in his mouth like an experienced vigneron. This cultured side to the man served as a stark contrast to the destructive persona he enjoys on the football field. With eyes that glistened with self-belief, Williams exuded the confidence of a man who knows exactly what he is doing with his life, someone who has been freed from a struggle. A man who is genuinely contented.
SportingMind: "So I must ask, how are you enjoying the French lifestyle? I noticed that you have a baguette in your bag; clearly you are relishing the cultural delights here in France?"
SBW: "Certainly. As you can see, France is a place rich in history. The food is so full of flavour and the wine, well, there is no parallel. French wine is the pinnacle of viticulture - perfection in a bottle".
SportingMind: "It must be great to get away from the fishbowl existence that you suffered in Australia. Barry Hall referred to the "fishbowl existence" in his weekly Sydney Morning Herald column, did you by chance read it?"
SBW: "Who is Barry Hall??"
SportingMind: "Exactly. Now there has been much conjecture about your salary; could you clear things up for the interested public?"
SBW: "Well reports have been falsified, obviously. The facts are: i am making a million Euros per year, plus an unlimited supply of Baguette coupons and a store discount for all felt beret outlets in Toulon. Also included in my deal was a personal tailor, Felix, who designs me the most current and cutting edge horizontally striped skivvies".
SportingMind: "Yes i did notice the rather dashing fashion sense. Is this something that partly inspired this European Escapade?"
SBW: "I would prefer it if you didn't refer to this contract as if it is some sort of "Contiki" tour. This is a chance to play under the expert tutelage of Tana Umaga and alongside Ivan Henjak, who i have always admired, and to really change the face of French Rugby."
SportingMind: "So tell me, is Khoder Nasser your manager? Reports have said..."
SBW: (cutting in abruptly) "We are friends. I feel comfortable around him; he is a calming influence on me. His striking resemblance to John Hopoate could be handy if the paparazzi start hounding me, because, like Hoppa, I can rely on him to perform similar forms of contrary conduct on those bastards. He told me he would do that for me because he's my mate".
SportingMind: "Yikes. So will you ever come back to the NRL - if they will have you, that is?"
SBW: "I love league, you know that, SportingMind. I grew up playing it as a young Poly boy, so it will always be in my heart. It is silly to rule out anything really. Acting, rapping, television, journalism, law, medicine. I'm just keeping my options open i guess".
SportingMind: "So do you aspire to be an All-Black. Is this what this is all about? Perhaps the new Brad Thorn?"
SBW: "Well I'll point out that Brad Thorn is very unattractive, whereas I am exceptionally good looking. In fact i once had a well-publicised tryst with Candice Falzon. Have you heard of her?"
SportingMind: "I certainly have. Congratulations".
SBW: (continuing) "But its not just about becoming an All-Black. Its about respect. I want respect. I want people to treat me right, anytime at all. A little caring's all I'm asking for. Don't try me, lie to me - patronise me... Talk do--"
SportingMind : (intercepting SBW) "Excuse me, but are you quoting lyrics from "Bachelor Girl - Treat me Good"?"
SBW: "Well yes, but its all relevant".
SportingMind: "Ok. Some may argue that the 5 year deal from the Bulldogs was very generous and that in doing a runner from the club you are letting down the current players, not to mention the already signed future players, who are themselves victims of disrespect. Is this a fair assessment?"
SBW: "Come on SportingMind, if that is even your real name. Who do you think you are, Peter Fitzsimons? Only he has the journalistic clout to refer to himself firstly in the 3rd person as "Fitz-Files". Just because you are "employed" by Orble doesn't make you such a hot-shot. I mean, you probably had to pay your air-fare here, didn't you? Do you even get paid for writing for Orble? GEEZ...."
SportingMind: "No need to get nasty, Sonny"..(said in a condescending, fatherly tone)
SBW: "Please don't be condescending by calling me 'Sonny', in a fatherly tone. Refer to me in the acronymic form - SBW."
SportingMind: "But you were just lecturing me about referring to myself in the third person..."
SBW: "Enough! I'll give you 3 more questions!"
SportingMind: "Ok SBW, i apologise. Tell me, have you contacted the Bulldogs yet to explain your decision to leave the country on the eve of a game?"
SBW: "Not yet, but i plan to. I've been very busy leaking text-message correspondence between myself and Steve Folkes, so one step at a time. I've spoken to my mates Reni, B.R and 'Tomatas'. "Mase" gave me a call, and we're sweet. Spoke to 'Kids', Azo and Bob-Cat briefly, and got a quick text from the "General". But no i haven't contacted Todd Greenberg, CEO of the Bulldogs, as such. Not until he gets an appropriate nickname, but he seems reluctant to assume one."
SportingMind: "That seems fair. So do you see a proverbial avalanche of players from the NRL following you into the French Rugby Union competition? There has been quite a moral panic back home about this issue."
SBW: "I don't think so (Pausing to sip from his glass - heartily). There is good money to be made, but the NRL is a good competition. It is a great product - as you have probably heard about ad nauseum lately - but its just not what i want at this stage in my life. I want security; i want to set my family up for life. I have dreams of being an All-Black."
SportingMind: "I'm sure many would love to see you make that dream a reality, SBW. Just one last question and we'll move onto the degustation menu. I was just wondering, what is your work-out program? You're so chiseled (not that I'm perving), but...WOW! Sorry, i have a tendency to blurt..."
SBW: (smiling) "That's ok, it happens. No secrets, just hard work and good genes, i guess. Sorry to disappoint you!"
SportingMind: (embarrassed, muffled laughter) "Haha, oh well. Shame. Sonny Bill Williams, thank you for your time today (sound of glasses 'chinking'), and good luck with your aspirations."
SBW: "It's SBW, actually".
-SportingMind.
I arrived in Paris, bleary-eyed, to conduct the first exclusive interview with fugitive league star Sonny Bill Williams. A nervous energy permeated my once-tired body - I was about to get the inside scoop on the SBW saga! After passing through customs and collecting my baggage, i was free to sample the Parisian delights; indeed, the city is a fabulous feast for the senses.
I had arranged to meet Mr Williams at Parisian restaraunt Taillevent, a grand 19th Century town-house, situated near the famous Champs Elysees. Slightly late, i checked my coat at the door and scanned the room for my interviewee. The subject was sitting in the far corner, languidly sipping upon a soft, subtle Merlot. As I gingerly approached my subject, he suddenly leapt to his feet and introduced himself. Obviously he needed no introduction, but I was quietly impressed at his assertiveness and etiquette.
As we sat down he offered me a glass of the expensive Merlot, which he explained was from the famous Bordeaux region. I was Impressed with his wine knowledge. He went on to tell me the history of the region and its most famous wines. He laughed when I told him of my special affinity with Botrytis desert wines - which he indeed was familiar with, referencing the delicious Sauternes he had enjoyed the previous evening.
Williams sipped gently from his glass with pursed lips, swishing the drop around in his mouth like an experienced vigneron. This cultured side to the man served as a stark contrast to the destructive persona he enjoys on the football field. With eyes that glistened with self-belief, Williams exuded the confidence of a man who knows exactly what he is doing with his life, someone who has been freed from a struggle. A man who is genuinely contented.
SportingMind: "So I must ask, how are you enjoying the French lifestyle? I noticed that you have a baguette in your bag; clearly you are relishing the cultural delights here in France?"
SBW: "Certainly. As you can see, France is a place rich in history. The food is so full of flavour and the wine, well, there is no parallel. French wine is the pinnacle of viticulture - perfection in a bottle".
SportingMind: "It must be great to get away from the fishbowl existence that you suffered in Australia. Barry Hall referred to the "fishbowl existence" in his weekly Sydney Morning Herald column, did you by chance read it?"
SBW: "Who is Barry Hall??"
SportingMind: "Exactly. Now there has been much conjecture about your salary; could you clear things up for the interested public?"
SBW: "Well reports have been falsified, obviously. The facts are: i am making a million Euros per year, plus an unlimited supply of Baguette coupons and a store discount for all felt beret outlets in Toulon. Also included in my deal was a personal tailor, Felix, who designs me the most current and cutting edge horizontally striped skivvies".
SportingMind: "Yes i did notice the rather dashing fashion sense. Is this something that partly inspired this European Escapade?"
SBW: "I would prefer it if you didn't refer to this contract as if it is some sort of "Contiki" tour. This is a chance to play under the expert tutelage of Tana Umaga and alongside Ivan Henjak, who i have always admired, and to really change the face of French Rugby."
SportingMind: "So tell me, is Khoder Nasser your manager? Reports have said..."
SBW: (cutting in abruptly) "We are friends. I feel comfortable around him; he is a calming influence on me. His striking resemblance to John Hopoate could be handy if the paparazzi start hounding me, because, like Hoppa, I can rely on him to perform similar forms of contrary conduct on those bastards. He told me he would do that for me because he's my mate".
SportingMind: "Yikes. So will you ever come back to the NRL - if they will have you, that is?"
SBW: "I love league, you know that, SportingMind. I grew up playing it as a young Poly boy, so it will always be in my heart. It is silly to rule out anything really. Acting, rapping, television, journalism, law, medicine. I'm just keeping my options open i guess".
SportingMind: "So do you aspire to be an All-Black. Is this what this is all about? Perhaps the new Brad Thorn?"
SBW: "Well I'll point out that Brad Thorn is very unattractive, whereas I am exceptionally good looking. In fact i once had a well-publicised tryst with Candice Falzon. Have you heard of her?"
SportingMind: "I certainly have. Congratulations".
SBW: (continuing) "But its not just about becoming an All-Black. Its about respect. I want respect. I want people to treat me right, anytime at all. A little caring's all I'm asking for. Don't try me, lie to me - patronise me... Talk do--"
SportingMind : (intercepting SBW) "Excuse me, but are you quoting lyrics from "Bachelor Girl - Treat me Good"?"
SBW: "Well yes, but its all relevant".
SportingMind: "Ok. Some may argue that the 5 year deal from the Bulldogs was very generous and that in doing a runner from the club you are letting down the current players, not to mention the already signed future players, who are themselves victims of disrespect. Is this a fair assessment?"
SBW: "Come on SportingMind, if that is even your real name. Who do you think you are, Peter Fitzsimons? Only he has the journalistic clout to refer to himself firstly in the 3rd person as "Fitz-Files". Just because you are "employed" by Orble doesn't make you such a hot-shot. I mean, you probably had to pay your air-fare here, didn't you? Do you even get paid for writing for Orble? GEEZ...."
SportingMind: "No need to get nasty, Sonny"..(said in a condescending, fatherly tone)
SBW: "Please don't be condescending by calling me 'Sonny', in a fatherly tone. Refer to me in the acronymic form - SBW."
SportingMind: "But you were just lecturing me about referring to myself in the third person..."
SBW: "Enough! I'll give you 3 more questions!"
SportingMind: "Ok SBW, i apologise. Tell me, have you contacted the Bulldogs yet to explain your decision to leave the country on the eve of a game?"
SBW: "Not yet, but i plan to. I've been very busy leaking text-message correspondence between myself and Steve Folkes, so one step at a time. I've spoken to my mates Reni, B.R and 'Tomatas'. "Mase" gave me a call, and we're sweet. Spoke to 'Kids', Azo and Bob-Cat briefly, and got a quick text from the "General". But no i haven't contacted Todd Greenberg, CEO of the Bulldogs, as such. Not until he gets an appropriate nickname, but he seems reluctant to assume one."
SportingMind: "That seems fair. So do you see a proverbial avalanche of players from the NRL following you into the French Rugby Union competition? There has been quite a moral panic back home about this issue."
SBW: "I don't think so (Pausing to sip from his glass - heartily). There is good money to be made, but the NRL is a good competition. It is a great product - as you have probably heard about ad nauseum lately - but its just not what i want at this stage in my life. I want security; i want to set my family up for life. I have dreams of being an All-Black."
SportingMind: "I'm sure many would love to see you make that dream a reality, SBW. Just one last question and we'll move onto the degustation menu. I was just wondering, what is your work-out program? You're so chiseled (not that I'm perving), but...WOW! Sorry, i have a tendency to blurt..."
SBW: (smiling) "That's ok, it happens. No secrets, just hard work and good genes, i guess. Sorry to disappoint you!"
SportingMind: (embarrassed, muffled laughter) "Haha, oh well. Shame. Sonny Bill Williams, thank you for your time today (sound of glasses 'chinking'), and good luck with your aspirations."
SBW: "It's SBW, actually".
-SportingMind.
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Comment by TimmyH
Tech News
Can you HACK it?
Genyration
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Captain Carnage
Comment by Captain Carnage
Comment by Professor Chaos
Should be more references to Sauternes in Rugby League circles everywhere.
Your knowledge of wine will be a great help when I finally get around to posting my "Rugby League Lovers guide to Wine."
Comment by Go with the Flo
In a nutshell i hope Toulon haven't paid $3million for him as at this stage he's a massive gamble for that kind of money!
P.s. he also got some very good legal advice the NRL have about the same chance of stopping him play in France.. as Eric "the eel" Mussambani has of winning a medal in Beijing!
Comment by zalai
great interview though
Comment by David Edwards
Sporting Mind
I must say i am looking forward to Part II of the unedited interview, coming up soon. Stay tuned for that one, there are plenty of explosive revelations still to come.
-SportingMind