David EdwardsRugby League, a few final words on the year that was...
October 7th 2008 01:16
And so ends another riveting year of rugby league...
Much like a rugby league player, this Orble writer was suffering "burn-out" from the weekly grind of the competition. You can only make so many bad metaphors and analogies out of the game before you suffer an existential melt-down, citing lack of inspiration as reason for a sudden disinterest in the sport. A rugby league season is a cyclical timeline; history repeats monthly. Something new might come along once every year, for example the SBW sojourn to France. Other than that, be prepared to endure bar-room brawls, sexual assault allegations, public urination, new forms of illegal tackling, and occasional flashes of on-field brilliance; all on a (as mentioned) monthly basis.
Like John Grisham pumping out a new legal thriller every Fathers Day, i could be excused for a degree of apathy, perhaps even a significant drop in the standard of my writing. Truth be told, I admit to often deviating severely from the simple reporting of games, in fact i was widely criticised for my suggestion to Cate Blanchett and her Sydney Theatre Company, regarding an "NRL Musical" production, in which i would be the principal backer, director, producer, and main protagonist. These efforts were ruthlessly shunned, along with some disparaging comments by Blanchett herself (which is neither here nor there), and rugby league, sadly, remains unrepresented in the Arts community - something of a tragedy indeed. My life-sized sculpture of Wayne Bennett was also widely panned for being too controversial, leading to me receiving a Bill Henson-style lynching by the mass media, and personal condemnation by Kevin Rudd himself. How was i to know that depicting Wayne Bennett as a naked and frail individual would be recieved so coldly? I thought all you had to do to make it as an artist in this country was to appropriate Botticelli's "Birth of Venus". That's the last time i impose Wayne Bennett's head on a classical goddess's body (although i do say that now)..
I decided that, if i'm going to write about rugby league, i have to live like a rugby league player - "warts and all". Pure gonzo-style. Last year i embarked on an off-season trip with a rugby league team (which i cannot name now for legal reasons), on a mission to discover the true meaning of "what goes on tour stays on tour". My novel, albeit thwarted by my own habitual drug-taking and stream-of-consciousness writing technique, never went to press, instead edited beyond comprehension to the extent that it was later released in the form of a sassy Mia Freedman article titled "Sex with your Ex??". I received no credit, no payment, leading me to abort my publishing contract and focus purely on litigation-prone slander, in an online blog under the pseudonym "SportingMind".
This year alone, i faced thirteen separate defamation cases, all by rugby league players, all (except for one) settled out of court for an undisclosed sum. The one that did go to court (SportingMind vs Sonny Bill Williams) was eventually dismissed, due to SBW's inability to attend court that day. Some have called me the Darryn Hinch of online blogging; some ruder, less articulate people have called me a c**t. Jonathan Holmes on ABC"s Media Watch used the show as a platform for a smirking attack on my credibility as an online writer. All critics can have their say, as Greg Inglis might point out, "critics will be critics". I'm just here to offer my insight on the greatest game in the world - rugby league.
The chapter has almost closed on rugby league for 2008. Manly players may still be prancing around shirtless, low-carb beers and cigarettes in tow, relishing the euphoria of a grand final victory. But for the punter, rugby league will be back again in 2009, BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER!! My advice to rugby league journalists? Keep your 2008 articles on electronic file, so that you can rehash those same pieces next year, but with the appropriate players' names substituted in.
Manly are the deserved victors for 2008. SportingMind extends his most warmest and sincere congratulations to the entire squadron. Go enjoy that end-of-season trip to Bali, boys. You've earned it.
-SportingMind
Much like a rugby league player, this Orble writer was suffering "burn-out" from the weekly grind of the competition. You can only make so many bad metaphors and analogies out of the game before you suffer an existential melt-down, citing lack of inspiration as reason for a sudden disinterest in the sport. A rugby league season is a cyclical timeline; history repeats monthly. Something new might come along once every year, for example the SBW sojourn to France. Other than that, be prepared to endure bar-room brawls, sexual assault allegations, public urination, new forms of illegal tackling, and occasional flashes of on-field brilliance; all on a (as mentioned) monthly basis.
SBW messin' around with the cameras..
Like John Grisham pumping out a new legal thriller every Fathers Day, i could be excused for a degree of apathy, perhaps even a significant drop in the standard of my writing. Truth be told, I admit to often deviating severely from the simple reporting of games, in fact i was widely criticised for my suggestion to Cate Blanchett and her Sydney Theatre Company, regarding an "NRL Musical" production, in which i would be the principal backer, director, producer, and main protagonist. These efforts were ruthlessly shunned, along with some disparaging comments by Blanchett herself (which is neither here nor there), and rugby league, sadly, remains unrepresented in the Arts community - something of a tragedy indeed. My life-sized sculpture of Wayne Bennett was also widely panned for being too controversial, leading to me receiving a Bill Henson-style lynching by the mass media, and personal condemnation by Kevin Rudd himself. How was i to know that depicting Wayne Bennett as a naked and frail individual would be recieved so coldly? I thought all you had to do to make it as an artist in this country was to appropriate Botticelli's "Birth of Venus". That's the last time i impose Wayne Bennett's head on a classical goddess's body (although i do say that now)..
SportingMind can relate to the lynching that Bill Henson received..
I decided that, if i'm going to write about rugby league, i have to live like a rugby league player - "warts and all". Pure gonzo-style. Last year i embarked on an off-season trip with a rugby league team (which i cannot name now for legal reasons), on a mission to discover the true meaning of "what goes on tour stays on tour". My novel, albeit thwarted by my own habitual drug-taking and stream-of-consciousness writing technique, never went to press, instead edited beyond comprehension to the extent that it was later released in the form of a sassy Mia Freedman article titled "Sex with your Ex??". I received no credit, no payment, leading me to abort my publishing contract and focus purely on litigation-prone slander, in an online blog under the pseudonym "SportingMind".
SportingMind's articles were later transformed into an incomprehensible chick-lit novel..
This year alone, i faced thirteen separate defamation cases, all by rugby league players, all (except for one) settled out of court for an undisclosed sum. The one that did go to court (SportingMind vs Sonny Bill Williams) was eventually dismissed, due to SBW's inability to attend court that day. Some have called me the Darryn Hinch of online blogging; some ruder, less articulate people have called me a c**t. Jonathan Holmes on ABC"s Media Watch used the show as a platform for a smirking attack on my credibility as an online writer. All critics can have their say, as Greg Inglis might point out, "critics will be critics". I'm just here to offer my insight on the greatest game in the world - rugby league.
Jonno Holmes really took it to SportingMind on ABC's "Media Watch" this year..
The chapter has almost closed on rugby league for 2008. Manly players may still be prancing around shirtless, low-carb beers and cigarettes in tow, relishing the euphoria of a grand final victory. But for the punter, rugby league will be back again in 2009, BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER!! My advice to rugby league journalists? Keep your 2008 articles on electronic file, so that you can rehash those same pieces next year, but with the appropriate players' names substituted in.
Manly are the deserved victors for 2008. SportingMind extends his most warmest and sincere congratulations to the entire squadron. Go enjoy that end-of-season trip to Bali, boys. You've earned it.
-SportingMind
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Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Me and the boys really enjoyed this post. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here today as spokesdude in my wife's dress.
But as the backs told me (the ones that score the tries in the forward lines), 'Don't get too carried away.'
We're taking your blog one post at a time.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by David Edwards
Sporting Mind
As to the pending Denton interview, well, i've got a few surprises up my sleeve. But he's got such a quirky and irreverent style, so i'll probably end up divulging all my deepest and darkest to him without realising it.