David Edwards
NormRoger Federer Has Only To Top Himself
July 6th 2009 05:07
Now that Roger Federer has eclipsed Pete Sampras as the holder of the most Grand Slam final's victories, and with a looming depression that inevitably follows such an achievement, the typists, hacks, pen-pushers, mean-spirited meanies and genial gents at SportingMind have pooled their collective knowledge of dangerous slumps to arrive at the conclusion that Roger Federer faces his greatest enemy, and potentially life threateniing adversary, what living legend Michael Jackson describes as: "the man in the mirror".
We typists, hacks, bloggers, committed professionals, hopeless alcoholics paying off a mortgage to a house their divorced wife now resides in with a former business partner and his anatomically alarming characteristics, and seasoned scribblers here at The Mind, looking into our hearts like that brave Irish idiot Gabriel Byrne in Miller's Crossing, have come up with a couple of examples of those who have gone willingly down the road to the undiscovered country in topping themselves in the pursuit of self-destruction.
Mark Latham - Taking Himself Out With A Handshake
On the eve of perhaps his greatest triumph, uninhibited slogger Mark Latham had the unsporting world of politics at his feet. What he found was that his meat-plates were made of clay crumbling quicker and with more bite than the old SCG wicket. It was a flaw wily cheat and spinning from the off pie-chucker John Howard exploited with the joyous and unprovoked frenzy of a chimpanzee on Xanax after luring the "cancerous pancreas", as they dubbed Latham, into the sort of fatal error that had echoes in Harbhajan Singh floating up a few loose-wristed drifters to a hard-handed Ricky Ponting on a hard SCG pitch. The incident reverberated around the narrow corridors of Australian minds creating the kind of deadly backlash not seen since 1788, and resulted in an embarrassing dismissal and jubilant celebrations in the corridors of Australian homes.
Mohamed Atta - This Is Your Captain Speaking
"An Egyptian boxer headed for big things", is how boxing magazine The Ring described an up-and-coming Mohamed Atta before he embarked on "The Rumble in the Concrete Jungle". Backed by prominent promoters of the one true faith of Satan, i.e. Islam, such as Cassius Clay, Atta, suffering the jittery nerves all punch-sober boxers experience before a big flight, boarded a plane bound for a meeting with one of the giant boxes of American architecture. The clash was one that most flight-promoters wouldn't touch with a Boeing 747 but moderate elements in the Islamic community had Atta pencilled in for big things. The World Trade Centre."The Brown Bomber won't look at a white woman," radical elements in American society said of well-spoken Joe Louis, Atta's idol. And so it was with Mohamed as he made his way through the hysteria of screaming fans and headlong into the side of history reserved for people of his faith.
Well aware as we hacks, cut-and-pasters, atheists, communists, muck-rackers and diabolical slanderers at The Mind are that faithful Catholic and potential suicide victim Roger Federer is set to commit himself to the circle of Hell associated with Tennis where he'll be whipped by Serena Williams, we heap scorn, mixed with reluctant admiration, on the holder of the most Grand Slam final's victories for topping nice Greek boy Pete Sampras.
We typists, hacks, bloggers, committed professionals, hopeless alcoholics paying off a mortgage to a house their divorced wife now resides in with a former business partner and his anatomically alarming characteristics, and seasoned scribblers here at The Mind, looking into our hearts like that brave Irish idiot Gabriel Byrne in Miller's Crossing, have come up with a couple of examples of those who have gone willingly down the road to the undiscovered country in topping themselves in the pursuit of self-destruction.
Mark Latham - Taking Himself Out With A Handshake
On the eve of perhaps his greatest triumph, uninhibited slogger Mark Latham had the unsporting world of politics at his feet. What he found was that his meat-plates were made of clay crumbling quicker and with more bite than the old SCG wicket. It was a flaw wily cheat and spinning from the off pie-chucker John Howard exploited with the joyous and unprovoked frenzy of a chimpanzee on Xanax after luring the "cancerous pancreas", as they dubbed Latham, into the sort of fatal error that had echoes in Harbhajan Singh floating up a few loose-wristed drifters to a hard-handed Ricky Ponting on a hard SCG pitch. The incident reverberated around the narrow corridors of Australian minds creating the kind of deadly backlash not seen since 1788, and resulted in an embarrassing dismissal and jubilant celebrations in the corridors of Australian homes.
John Howard has had his share of dark days
Mohamed Atta - This Is Your Captain Speaking
"An Egyptian boxer headed for big things", is how boxing magazine The Ring described an up-and-coming Mohamed Atta before he embarked on "The Rumble in the Concrete Jungle". Backed by prominent promoters of the one true faith of Satan, i.e. Islam, such as Cassius Clay, Atta, suffering the jittery nerves all punch-sober boxers experience before a big flight, boarded a plane bound for a meeting with one of the giant boxes of American architecture. The clash was one that most flight-promoters wouldn't touch with a Boeing 747 but moderate elements in the Islamic community had Atta pencilled in for big things. The World Trade Centre."The Brown Bomber won't look at a white woman," radical elements in American society said of well-spoken Joe Louis, Atta's idol. And so it was with Mohamed as he made his way through the hysteria of screaming fans and headlong into the side of history reserved for people of his faith.
Jack Johnson knew how to land a white bird
Well aware as we hacks, cut-and-pasters, atheists, communists, muck-rackers and diabolical slanderers at The Mind are that faithful Catholic and potential suicide victim Roger Federer is set to commit himself to the circle of Hell associated with Tennis where he'll be whipped by Serena Williams, we heap scorn, mixed with reluctant admiration, on the holder of the most Grand Slam final's victories for topping nice Greek boy Pete Sampras.
| 40 |
| Vote |
