Obama's secret connection to Australia
November 5th 2008 00:52
Barack Obama, confident in victory, has surprised Americans by revealing a secret connection to Australia.
The stunning revelation came as the polls closed a few minutes ago, leaving Obama to finally reveal his secret identity.
Obama actually played on the wing for ARL team South Sydney briefly in 1991, under the name Jesse Winnapuligu. Fresh from his position as editor of the Harvard Law Review, Obama wanted to take time out to write his novel, Dreams From My Father, in the solitude of Fisher Library - Sydney University's main campus library.
The revelation comes as a shock, considering Obama was said to have been in Bali writing his novel during this period.
Winnapuligu is considered a national treasure, thought to have been scouted from the Ngarabal tribe by Arthur Beetson in early 1990. This has since proved to be false, prompting Beetson to make a statement this morning. "I never scouted Winnapuligu (Obama) from the Ngarabal tribe", Beetson repudiated, fighting back tears of sincerity. "God, he could play though. He had a great step, a fend to die for, and a brilliant tactical kicking game - suited to wet weather conditions. One thing i didn't like about him was that he kept rabbiting on about change: our kicking options, tackling techniques, etc. But he was a great footballer, no doubt."
Obama was picked in first grade without any experience at all, much to the chagrin of conservative South Sydney supporters, who claimed that he was all show and no tell. He impressed the selectors by doing a cartwheel and reciting a Kenneth Slessor poem, enamouring all with his dextrous verbosity and knowledge of modernist Australian poetry - in turn earning himself a place on the team.
Allegedly, Obama would train at Redfern Oval, then go to the library each weeknight and log on the computer labs with a stolen Sydney University library card. During his stay, he inadvertently brokered a peaceful intervention between Aboriginal and white residents in proximity to Redfern's notorious "The Block" area. He also healed three children with AIDS and accidently cured liver cancer.
Recently, Winnapuligu was voted in the South Sydney team of the 90s, at a function hosted by Julian O'Neill. It has been described as the greatest sporting heist of the 20th Century.
-SportingMind
The stunning revelation came as the polls closed a few minutes ago, leaving Obama to finally reveal his secret identity.
Jesse Winnapuligu
Obama actually played on the wing for ARL team South Sydney briefly in 1991, under the name Jesse Winnapuligu. Fresh from his position as editor of the Harvard Law Review, Obama wanted to take time out to write his novel, Dreams From My Father, in the solitude of Fisher Library - Sydney University's main campus library.
The revelation comes as a shock, considering Obama was said to have been in Bali writing his novel during this period.
Winnapuligu is considered a national treasure, thought to have been scouted from the Ngarabal tribe by Arthur Beetson in early 1990. This has since proved to be false, prompting Beetson to make a statement this morning. "I never scouted Winnapuligu (Obama) from the Ngarabal tribe", Beetson repudiated, fighting back tears of sincerity. "God, he could play though. He had a great step, a fend to die for, and a brilliant tactical kicking game - suited to wet weather conditions. One thing i didn't like about him was that he kept rabbiting on about change: our kicking options, tackling techniques, etc. But he was a great footballer, no doubt."
The biggest heist since Holt went from PM to communist spy
Obama was picked in first grade without any experience at all, much to the chagrin of conservative South Sydney supporters, who claimed that he was all show and no tell. He impressed the selectors by doing a cartwheel and reciting a Kenneth Slessor poem, enamouring all with his dextrous verbosity and knowledge of modernist Australian poetry - in turn earning himself a place on the team.
Allegedly, Obama would train at Redfern Oval, then go to the library each weeknight and log on the computer labs with a stolen Sydney University library card. During his stay, he inadvertently brokered a peaceful intervention between Aboriginal and white residents in proximity to Redfern's notorious "The Block" area. He also healed three children with AIDS and accidently cured liver cancer.
Recently, Winnapuligu was voted in the South Sydney team of the 90s, at a function hosted by Julian O'Neill. It has been described as the greatest sporting heist of the 20th Century.
-SportingMind
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Comment by Norm
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Holt started out as a communist spy and then became fitness trainer and health and nutrition and biochemical advisor for East German hurdlers. Under the moniker Des Renford, he also championed the cause of Duncan Armstrong. Unfortunately, he made a habit of picking up lost causes.
The rest checks out. And how.
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Is this true? Can you confirm he is standing for election as president of the BCCI?
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I can't pick a favourite part of this post. It's a purler.
Maybe referring to Kenneth Slessor is my favourite bit. That did crack me up.
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Comment by colocountry
This is an intelligent, insightful comment upon our world as we know it?? I'm missing the intellectual element obviously deeply hidden in the nuances of the allegoty. Sorry! But i wonder if anyone really played fa...
Col
Comment by colocountry
This is an intelligent, insightful comment upon our world as we know it?? I'm missing the intellectual element obviously deeply hidden in the nuances of the allegoty. Sorry! But i wonder if anyone really played fa...
Col
Comment by David Edwards
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Col: Sorry if the "allegoty" didn't sit right with you. Truth be told, this is an extremely unintelligent post. I was merely using the Obama title as a topical drawcard for random people like yourself to accidently click on my site. Call it opportunistic if you will.. Also, you seem to have left your comment incomplete? Not only once, but twice? I assume after the second effort you were simply tired of the posting process - deciding in a fit of frustration to abandon the third effort and simply hope that people would just get it. I'd love it if you returned later to finish your rant.
As for you, Virile Men, great comment about Wishart. Nothing was sacred on his rugby league field.
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