Mark Planamente
NormFrom Bullets to Bradman: Terrorism and Cricket
March 4th 2009 05:30
Cricket is no longer safe from the threat of politics and violence, as a shooting attack on Sri Lanka's cricket team yesterday signalled the end of a 400-year peace agreement between criminal masterminds and cricketers.
This aggressive assault by unidentified masked attackers has relegated cricket alongside a list of other sports of which have fallen victim to terrorism.
Cricket, one of the true survivors in terms of sports, had safely negotiated its way from its creation in the late 16th century to today without once falling victim to violence. But Australian selector Merv Hughes believes that cricket will rise again in the face of international terrorism.
"There is no way the Tamil Tigers are going to be on the scene for any longer than a few years", Hughes said yesterday, totally missing the point.
"You saw what happened to the Canberra Comets. They lasted about one year with Mike Veletta at the helm and yours truly as a marquee player.
"These Tigers are just another example of unnecessary expansion-teams in domestic cricket."
The Lahore shootings have sparked several inquiries into previous on-field incidents dating years back. A bottle thrown at former Australian captain Steve Waugh in 1999 during a one-day match in Barbados is now being investigated as a war crime, with the alleged assassin due to face the ICC (International Criminal Court). Ironically, the same spectator has been asked to apologise to the other ICC, the International Cricket Council. Also being looked at is the infamous no-balling by umpire Darrell Hair of Sri Lanka's Muttiah Muralidaran. Hair has been suspected of having connections to the 'Tamil Tigers' terrorist organisation, using his position of authority to destabilise the Sri Lankan government through no-balling their "favourite son".
Former Pakistan coach Geoff Lawson is keen to prove that cricket in Pakistan is still "safe as", and maintains a view that the test match should be finished.
"I played cricket in the 80s, and it was a lot tougher back then", Lawson said.
"It's just bad luck for the team that gets shot at. Look, a tour of Pakistan is tough no matter which way you look at it.
"But the show should go on. There's still five Sri Lankan players that haven't been injured or shot. This wicket is a road, so I think we could still get a result if we (Pakistan) clean up the tail tomorrow morning."
Until now, it was always assumed that cricket was safe from terrorism. A sport that embodies all the elements of etiquette and politeness whilst fostering a spirit that transcends politics or religious fervour. International Relations expert and author of "From Bullets to Bradman: Cricket and Terrorism", Professor SportingMind, says the sport has never been as precariously placed as it is right now.
"The cricketers need to send a message to the terrorists that they can, and will, continue to play cricket with absolute disregard for their own existence", Prof. Mind said.
"I propose a game between Australia and England to be held on the Gaza Strip as a vote of confidence in the invincibility of cricketers.
"The Gaza Strip is one of the best 'strips' in world cricket, even better than the GABBA", the clearly intoxicated academic told reporters whilst clutching a glass of Bells in his outstretched, claw-like hand.
It has been a tough week for cricket; only a few days ago the history of the game was questioned, with evidence suggesting cricket originated in continental Europe.
The test series between Pakistan and Sri Lanka has been cancelled and replaced with a one-man stage show to be performed at Gaddafi Stadium, starring Geoff Lawson. Tickets to "I'm Still Standing" can be purchased at the gate on the day of the show.
This aggressive assault by unidentified masked attackers has relegated cricket alongside a list of other sports of which have fallen victim to terrorism.
Cricket, one of the true survivors in terms of sports, had safely negotiated its way from its creation in the late 16th century to today without once falling victim to violence. But Australian selector Merv Hughes believes that cricket will rise again in the face of international terrorism.
"There is no way the Tamil Tigers are going to be on the scene for any longer than a few years", Hughes said yesterday, totally missing the point.
"You saw what happened to the Canberra Comets. They lasted about one year with Mike Veletta at the helm and yours truly as a marquee player.
"These Tigers are just another example of unnecessary expansion-teams in domestic cricket."
The Lahore shootings have sparked several inquiries into previous on-field incidents dating years back. A bottle thrown at former Australian captain Steve Waugh in 1999 during a one-day match in Barbados is now being investigated as a war crime, with the alleged assassin due to face the ICC (International Criminal Court). Ironically, the same spectator has been asked to apologise to the other ICC, the International Cricket Council. Also being looked at is the infamous no-balling by umpire Darrell Hair of Sri Lanka's Muttiah Muralidaran. Hair has been suspected of having connections to the 'Tamil Tigers' terrorist organisation, using his position of authority to destabilise the Sri Lankan government through no-balling their "favourite son".
Former Pakistan coach Geoff Lawson is keen to prove that cricket in Pakistan is still "safe as", and maintains a view that the test match should be finished.
"I played cricket in the 80s, and it was a lot tougher back then", Lawson said.
"It's just bad luck for the team that gets shot at. Look, a tour of Pakistan is tough no matter which way you look at it.
"But the show should go on. There's still five Sri Lankan players that haven't been injured or shot. This wicket is a road, so I think we could still get a result if we (Pakistan) clean up the tail tomorrow morning."
Until now, it was always assumed that cricket was safe from terrorism. A sport that embodies all the elements of etiquette and politeness whilst fostering a spirit that transcends politics or religious fervour. International Relations expert and author of "From Bullets to Bradman: Cricket and Terrorism", Professor SportingMind, says the sport has never been as precariously placed as it is right now.
"The cricketers need to send a message to the terrorists that they can, and will, continue to play cricket with absolute disregard for their own existence", Prof. Mind said.
"I propose a game between Australia and England to be held on the Gaza Strip as a vote of confidence in the invincibility of cricketers.
"The Gaza Strip is one of the best 'strips' in world cricket, even better than the GABBA", the clearly intoxicated academic told reporters whilst clutching a glass of Bells in his outstretched, claw-like hand.
It has been a tough week for cricket; only a few days ago the history of the game was questioned, with evidence suggesting cricket originated in continental Europe.
The test series between Pakistan and Sri Lanka has been cancelled and replaced with a one-man stage show to be performed at Gaddafi Stadium, starring Geoff Lawson. Tickets to "I'm Still Standing" can be purchased at the gate on the day of the show.
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Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
You're my favourite living writer by a 'road'.
Keep up the good work, you might say.
Comment by David Edwards
Who's your favourite deceased fiction writer? Mine is Manning Clark, unquestionably.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power