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NormGordon Ramsay gets a Test call-up
November 27th 2008 02:34
Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has emerged as front runner for the vacant spinning position in the Australian cricket team, according to Head Selector Andrew Hilditch.
The recent selection of Ramsay in the 13-man squad for Friday's Second Test has raised some cricketing eyebrows, but Hilditch drew comparisons between Warne and Ramsay yesterday at an unscheduled media conference in Adelaide.
"He has all the attributes we are looking for in a leg-spinner", said Hilditch.
"He's got it all. Ramsay is a blonde bombshell with a touch of Hollywood about him, not to mention a well-documented penchant for the ladies.
"He works in a kitchen so he's used to wearing whites - not that we are looking to pigeon-hole him as a test-player - and he seems to be a great sledger."
"Those big cracks in his forehead should open up by the fifth day of the test", Hilditch noted, allowing himself a self-congratulatory smirk.
Ramsay's recent admission to an extra-marital affair with "professional" mistress Sarah Symonds has come at an opportune time for the wily foodsmith, with suggestions that he is a long term solution for the position vacated by Shane Warne.
Shane Watson is one player who has voiced their disapproval of Ramsay's inclusion, pointing to the fact that the selection might disrupt team harmony.
"I think there's only room for one blonde in this team", said Watson, ambushed by reporters after stepping out of a Mosman Day Spa.
"I think we all remember the disputes between Kim Hughes and David Hookes in the early 1980's. Let's be honest, blondes simply have more fun. We blondes are buxom, volumptuous and volatile creatures; there's only room for one in a test-side."
Paraphrasing the late David Hookes, Ramsay watered down the affair allegations by calling it :"The rambling hyperbole of a dopey, hairy-backed sheila", earning him the instant respect of the Australian media.
Ramsay's only international appearance to date was as captain of a Rest of the World XI that played a Robbie Williams-led England XI in 2006. Unfortunately the game was abandoned at the toss, due to Williams and Ramsay enjoying that aspect of the game so much that they decided to "skive off" to a nearby casino instead.
Ramsay is expected to host a catered dinner tonight for the Selection Committee at his Adelaide mansion; the main course is expected to be a lovely ravioli of lobster, langoustine and salmon with tomato chutney and vinaigrette. Selectors will decide tonight between Nathan Hauritz and Gordon Ramsay as to who will play tomorrow at the Adelaide Oval. Hauritz is not invited to the dinner.
-SportingMind
The recent selection of Ramsay in the 13-man squad for Friday's Second Test has raised some cricketing eyebrows, but Hilditch drew comparisons between Warne and Ramsay yesterday at an unscheduled media conference in Adelaide.
Ramsay: more zip than a spicy Laksa
"He has all the attributes we are looking for in a leg-spinner", said Hilditch.
"He's got it all. Ramsay is a blonde bombshell with a touch of Hollywood about him, not to mention a well-documented penchant for the ladies.
"He works in a kitchen so he's used to wearing whites - not that we are looking to pigeon-hole him as a test-player - and he seems to be a great sledger."
"Those big cracks in his forehead should open up by the fifth day of the test", Hilditch noted, allowing himself a self-congratulatory smirk.
Ramsay's recent admission to an extra-marital affair with "professional" mistress Sarah Symonds has come at an opportune time for the wily foodsmith, with suggestions that he is a long term solution for the position vacated by Shane Warne.
Shane Watson is one player who has voiced their disapproval of Ramsay's inclusion, pointing to the fact that the selection might disrupt team harmony.
"I think there's only room for one blonde in this team", said Watson, ambushed by reporters after stepping out of a Mosman Day Spa.
"I think we all remember the disputes between Kim Hughes and David Hookes in the early 1980's. Let's be honest, blondes simply have more fun. We blondes are buxom, volumptuous and volatile creatures; there's only room for one in a test-side."
"Blondes have more fun", according to this male centrefold..
Paraphrasing the late David Hookes, Ramsay watered down the affair allegations by calling it :"The rambling hyperbole of a dopey, hairy-backed sheila", earning him the instant respect of the Australian media.
Ramsay's only international appearance to date was as captain of a Rest of the World XI that played a Robbie Williams-led England XI in 2006. Unfortunately the game was abandoned at the toss, due to Williams and Ramsay enjoying that aspect of the game so much that they decided to "skive off" to a nearby casino instead.
Ramsay is expected to host a catered dinner tonight for the Selection Committee at his Adelaide mansion; the main course is expected to be a lovely ravioli of lobster, langoustine and salmon with tomato chutney and vinaigrette. Selectors will decide tonight between Nathan Hauritz and Gordon Ramsay as to who will play tomorrow at the Adelaide Oval. Hauritz is not invited to the dinner.
-SportingMind
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