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Sporting Mind - September 2008




Two codes do battle with each other over the disputed sporting heartland of Australia, like 17th Century explorers on a conquest to plant their flag deep in its earth. Somehow, both codes exist, yet are divided somewhat between the different regions of Australia. The sectarian nature of Victoria is that it is a purely focused on AFL, similarly, are South and Western Australia. The upper eastern states, NSW and QLD, are supposedly rugby league "heartlands", yet, these states are considered to be viable land for AFL expansion. Andrew Demetriou is looking over the region like a gun-toting British explorer, gun in hand, of the opinion that these north eastern states are nothing more than Terra Nullius in nature.


Once Demetriou enforces his doctrine of AFL in these states, then rugby league will suffer a fate worse than the Aboriginal people did at the hands of expansion-thirsty British adventurers. Rugby League was once a thriving sport that was played all over the land, but soon the numbers will be reduced so severely that the game will only be played in certain Sydney suburbs, such as Redfern.

Rugby League players are already being snatched from their rightful code, from under the motherly eye of the nuturing David Gallop, and instead placed in Rugby Union institutions, to be raised by Rugby Union elitists. This stolen generation of rugby league players forget their roots in this dastardly act of superiority, and are forced to play rugby union for Australia, for exorbitant amounts of money. Only in some cases will the "stolen" league player ever find his way back to where he was raised, for example Mat Rogers and Wendell Sailor. They were lured away from their mother and instructed to "act union" even though they were inherently "league". After years of struggling with their identity they returned to their native land to play the sport they grew up playing, the sport that is truly in their blood.


Forcing rugby league supporters to speak AFL could also prove a denial of human rights, much like the suppression of Tibetan culture by the Chinese. Common rugby league phrases: play the ball, 40/20, forward pass and 5th tackle - could all soon be as dead as Latin, instead usurped by a strange dialect consisting of odd colloquial jargon. Inside 50's, soft-ball 'gets', hard-bodied midfielders, small 'crumbers', 'spekky', et al, are common AFL phrases, but to the common league supporter they will be unpronouncable.

This unstoppable juggernaut (that is the the AFL) will eventually conquer the land. This is the desire of the expansion-crazy executives, however, the common AFL people are steadfastly against interstate expansion. The thing with Victorian AFL supporters is that they are happy with their sectarian sport to be just that, a game played in Victoria, by Victorians. We can see that firstly through the evolution of the AFL language. Much like the Spanish Basque dialect, the evolution of AFL language is as puzzling as it is insular. Secondly, Victorians have little respect for the game of rugby league and its supposed superfluous brawn to brains ratio, and thus wish to keep AFL as their own little pet project. The All-Australian concept team is an example of this unrepentant desire to not care about anyone but themselves. Like impetuous schoolboys whiling away the hours before lunchtime, the AFL devises a team of their own, who will never play against anyone, but are simply a neurotic homage to the game itself. "Oooh, lets put Nick Riewoldt at Half-forward this year, he had a really good season!" they say, high-fiving each other with relish.

The 2008 AFL season has come and gone with Hawthorn taking the cake from Geelong - in what was both a tremendous upset and a brilliant spectacle. Now the NRL final looms this Sunday as a rematch of 2007: Manly v Melbourne. Let us appreciate rugby league but also recognise that it may not be long before the game is nothing but a distant memory, invoking nothing but an impending apology by the 2050 Prime Minister on behalf of the insatiable AFL - which by then will have cornered the sporting market completely.



-SportingMind














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The Official AFL Preview and Hype-Up

September 26th 2008 00:03
Hurrah, the football season is nearly over!!

Of course i say that in jest, after all, football is one of the elemental necessities of life. Without it how do we legitimately express our emotion without resorting to violence? As long as there are officially sanctioned national competitions in which we can barrack vehemently for a team then all is good in the world


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Cameron Smith Grapples with Reality

September 25th 2008 03:45


It took a mere nineteen minutes for the NRL judiciary to find Cameron Smith guilty of wrenching Sam Thaiday's head from his shoulders, in order to satiate his own personal renegade against opposition players' craniums


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NRL Musical 2008:


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Aussie Cricketers are scared of Pakistan..

September 18th 2008 05:45
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Recent sexual assault allegations by a 24 year old Queensland woman against three Brisbane Broncos players has sparked an immediate response by the NRL, with a new clause being inserted into every NRL player's contract effective immediately


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The Weekend's Footy Finals Action

September 14th 2008 23:24


Well, haven't i been served a delicious helping of humble pie, with a side of semi-finals upset


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AFL/NRL Predictions

September 12th 2008 00:11
In case anybody out there hadn't noticed, we are entering the glorious month of September - in which the AFL/NRL finals series rightfully snare the headlines back from unnewsworthy institutions such as the NSW Labor party and seemingly endless Diane Brimble inquiries.

NRL First Round Finals Predictions:
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Dally M Predictions

September 9th 2008 00:29
The Dally M medal wil be announced tonight, ending months of speculation over who is to be crowned the winner of this prestigious medallion.

Whoever wins this medal tonight, they will certainly be overshadowed by the one certainty of the night; the Captain of the Year award. This will without doubt be presented to Raiders skipper Alan Tongue


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Sydney v Nth Melb Elimination Final

September 5th 2008 05:45


Barry Hall has come out in today's Sydney Morning Herald and berated journalists for their use of unimaginative Barry Hall adjectives in the lead up to Saturday's elimination final against North Melbourne


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Try as i may to avoid it, there is a ridiculously catchy song that is dominating the airwaves at the moment. Whether i am standing in line for a coffee, watching a program on TV or just flicking between radio stations, i am inevitably greeted by the tune "I kissed a Girl", written by the artist Katy Perry.

Anyway, here is my take on the song - appropriated so as to be relevant to the latest misdemeanour involving disgraced NRL player Greg Bird. Hopefully it is not too politically/socially incorrect. Enjoy


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"Roy" - an Unofficial Biography

September 2nd 2008 02:51


Just let Andrew Symonds be. There, i said it. Phew.
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